Friday, January 23, 2015

If You Are Too Shy, You Need To Do This

There are people who would often feel shy when attending social events. These are the kind of people who are not comfortable socializing and meeting other people. They prefer to just stay home and do their thing. If you are like them, don’t worry. This is normal because not all people like to socialize, anyway.

But if shyness has become so chronic that you dread to attend any kind of socialization, even if they are held in places familiar to you and is attended by people close to you, this is no longer normal. Maybe it is time to seek professional help. You might have experienced something that triggered the chronic shyness and need proper treatment.

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But shyness, per se, can still be remedied. You just need to exert effort to overcome it so you can enjoy your life, to the fullest. Take note that chronic shyness may affect your behavior and personal growth so it is time to do something about it. Here are a few tips to consider.

Release your fear. The shyness you felt could be due to fear – fear that other people may not accept you as you are if you socialize with them. But don’t be too negative. Don’t ever think that other people won’t like you even if you haven’t talk to them yet. It’s normal to be apprehensive at first but don’t let this rule over your desire to meet others, especially those who have the same hobby and interests as yours. Ask yourself what is there to be shy about in the first place.

Relax and be cool. Don’t be nervous. Stay calm and don’t let fear take over. 

Just consider meeting other people as a form of relaxation and a change of environment.

Reality versus fear. The shyness you felt due to fear is only in your mind, not in reality. The real thing happening is a conversation between you and the other people so focus on it.

Stay focused. It may be hard to get a conversation going but you can keep it alive by listening well so you can catch up with what the other person is saying and answer any questions he/she may ask you, if there are. This is to show the other person that you are paying attention to what he/she is talking. 

The importance of compliment. If there are things that you like about the other person, say it. Give compliment maybe on his/her hair, dress or anything that you think is worth complimenting. Just be cautious about giving too many compliments as this can be construed as an insincere act and may backfire on you. Keep the compliments simple and sincere. 

Be responsive. Verbal language is present in any conversation, of course, but body language is also important. Show gestures that can spark the interest of the other person. Maintain eye contact and be sure to always wear your smile.

It may not be easy to overcome shyness but you can do it, albeit not overnight.


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