Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Why some children are too shy

It can be quite disturbing if you always see your child alone in his/her room playing his/her own toys as if there is no world outside that four-cornered room. 

By nature, children are friendly and like to play with other children. But it cannot be denied that there are those who like to be alone all the time. They don’t want to mingle with other children. They don’t like socializing. They just want to spend time with themselves and away from the limelight.

Shy children are considered to be highly sensitive that even the tiniest and small, irrelevant issue would mean so much to them and would hurt them. 

Some would feel anxious when attending social events that they will give any form of excuses just to get out of that “fearful” situation.

Fear is one of the reasons why children are shy though most of them cannot exactly pinpoint what causes the fear. The fear could be due to a negative thinking that no one would ever like them, or that they are not good in anything that they are doing.

Shyness is not a disease so shy children can still get over it, with proper guidance from parents. 

Parents play a great role in helping their children get out of the situation that they are in. 

It is one task where their patience would be greatly tested. 

So what can parents do to help their children overcome shyness and become playful and sociable?

Be a role model. As parents, it is but appropriate that you are role models to your children. Act and talk in such a way that your children would look up to you. Be friendly even to strangers. This trait could also help your children become friendly even to strangers too.

Be aware of your children’s needs. Always make time to be with your shy children. 

By being with them especially during times when they need you most, they can feel that they are secured and protected thus, they don’t have reasons to be afraid. Responsive parents, particularly mothers, can help sensitive and shy children learn to calm themselves in any situation. 

Understand your children’s worries. Don’t ever give statements that can give your shy children a hint that there is something wrong with them. This won’t do good to them. It will just make your children feel worse about themselves and will give them more reasons to be insecure. Instead, acknowledge what your shy children feel, without negative judgment. This would help them feel good about themselves. If you empathize with your shy children, you are helping them develop empathy which will later enhance their social skills.

You know in yourself that your children are shy so avoid shouting it out unconsciously by labeling them as shy. You are just making the situation worse. Instead, tell your children they are okay and nothing is wrong with them. Assure them that in no time, their shyness will disappear and they will start to overcome their fear.


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